do you remember how dark and small the world used to feel

i am afraid to forget the embrace of moments where i felt safe and happy

against it all

i feel frenzied

trying to bottle the fear i lived with for years

to show myself what i've overcome

what i was

to remember that i would not have been able to imagine this life for myself

i am afraid to forget!

being in the future is somehow less illuminating than being above

just don't drown