what to believe

do you remember how dark and small the world used to feel

i am afraid to forget the embrace of moments where i felt safe and happy

against it all

i feel frenzied

trying to bottle the fear i lived with for years

to show myself what i've overcome

what i was

to remember that i would not have been able to imagine this life for myself

i am afraid to forget!

being in the future is somehow less illuminating than being above

just don't drown

 may i and have i

i recall that i can't see the step in front of me and lose

there's no staircase but this hillside

did you think to ask?

how to find the questions i'm not asking

how to sharpen this angle into something i can observe

how to remember

how to decide