We Made Harmony and Heard Tension

locked in holding pattern

holding you in my arms

locked into the person we thought the other was in love with

we have so much more to offer the world than our art

you are more than woman and more than man and i love all of you

adore all of you

 what to believe

do you remember how dark and small the world used to feel

i am afraid to forget the embrace of moments where i felt safe and happy

against it all

i feel frenzied

trying to bottle the fear i lived with for years

to show myself what i've overcome

what i was

to remember that i would not have been able to imagine this life for myself

i am afraid to forget!

being in the future is somehow less illuminating than being above

just don't drown

 may i and have i

i recall that i can't see the step in front of me and lose

there's no staircase but this hillside

did you think to ask?

how to find the questions i'm not asking

how to sharpen this angle into something i can observe

how to remember

how to decide

chipped off the old block and hit a vein

new to me, used to

too

checkpoint in an abandoned game

assigned as lost

good news

 if you can call this metamorphasis

i can tell you it feels like becoming my own stomach, vomiting

all i feel is a lurch towards relief and comfort

rejecting but one thing at a time

juggling is not multitasking and i am not doing either

i will slouch as a man