chipped off the old block and hit a vein

new to me, used to

too

checkpoint in an abandoned game

assigned as lost

good news

 if you can call this metamorphasis

i can tell you it feels like becoming my own stomach, vomiting

all i feel is a lurch towards relief and comfort

rejecting but one thing at a time

juggling is not multitasking and i am not doing either

i will slouch as a man

 i thought i would build this castle out of pain and self-sacrifice 

but this is an endless stairwell of fear and greed

staircase wit

it has always been

i have always been

sitting on the steps of my conscious unwilling

waiting to yield

stalking my own programming, projections 

coward

 i am submitting to the past to placate this purgatory

there is no likeness between the things i have gained or lost

my character is a highway of comings and goings

i am a vessel but what am i

juice or jar brain soul

stop digging

if his or hers or yours ever echo in my head i will know but not until then

my thoughts are afraid of only each other like apex predators

i am not in control of this vessel at the moment